Even Stepvhliolas

Illustration of a scene from Middle-america (The Book). (Also on DA: the cover and a movie poster.)

STEPHOLAS
Who should take the Tie to Crawford and cast it into the Wood-Chipper of Doom?

STEVLI
The dwarves.

STEPHOLAS
The elves!

STEVLI
The dwaaaaaaaarves!

STEPHOLAS
Stevli, the dwarves are a greedy, short-sighted, mine-dwelling race who care for nothing except gold and jewels. How can we trust the fate of Middle-america into your money-grubbing hands?

STEVLI
Well, Stepholas, that's just the attitude I'd expect from a conceited, high-and-mighty, holier-than-thou, everybody-but-us-sucks elf such as yourself. As you might recall, your people are leaving Middle-america forever. Why should we believe that you care about this world when you're ditching it en masse?

STEPHOLAS
If we come across as conceited, Stevli, it might be because we were talking and naming things when your people had yet to come forth from the rocks. I personally am old enough to be your father.

STEVLI
Don't you bring up my father, Stepholas. You might remember that your father locked him and his companions in the dungeons of his hall in Hollywood, without just cause and, furthermore, for no good reason!

STEPHOLAS
Stevli, you ignorant slut.

STEVLI
Bite my shiny metal axe!

(The clash is ended when Jonagorn comes in and asks, "Why do you have to fight? Stevli, say something nice about elves. Right now. And Stepholas, say something nice about dwarves.")